I’ve called this year my transition year. This year I moved apartment, I went blonde (yes, blondes really do have more fun) and, at the end of January, I left my 6.5 year relationship – this is not something I’ve really spoken about until now, mainly because I didn’t feel ready to. But after nearly a year, any feelings of sadness I felt at the beginning now feel like a distant memory. I won’t go into the reasons why we broke up, but I do want to say that it was the longest relationship I’ve ever had and the reason I moved to Paris. Although it was more mutual than one-sided, it was a decision that took a while to make, with a lot of to-ing and fro-ing. But it was the best decision and I’ve never felt happier and more in control of my life.
This year I’ve learnt to live on my own, rely on myself and stand on my own two feet again. I know I don’t need to be in a relationship to function and be happy. Once I learnt this, I felt more capable of anything than I have in my life so far. I started to trust myself again and to know that actually things would be ok. I also made conscious decisions to surround myself with happy, positive people to fill my life and make me feel whole again.
One of the things that prevented me from moving into a happier situation was my age. I turned 35 in May and it honestly scared the shit out of me to leave a +6 year relationship however unhappy I was, when my friends were getting married & starting families. But you will never be as young as you are now. There is no good time, but believe me, being single with the hope of a happy life & relationship is better than staying in something that doesn’t bring you joy because you’ve talked yourself into believing that you can’t have and don’t deserve something better. Remember, you only get what you think you deserve - so you better start thinking you deserve the best!
When I moved to Paris 6 years ago I was 29 and a little lost in my career, but with inklings of what I wanted to do and ready for a change. My relationship was the catalyst for that change; it put me on the path I’m on now and for this I will always be entirely grateful for it, but I knew it wasn’t right. Being on my own again has been this year’s biggest lessons. Even when I’ve felt down and haven’t had someone to snuggle with on the sofa, I’ve known that those feelings would eventually pass. I’ve learnt to like myself again. To feel proud of me. Because I chose the path less trodden - in moving country six years ago, when many questioned why and even warned me against it and having left a relationship at a time in my life when I should have been settling down. I’m a big advocate for stepping out of one’s comfort zone. That’s when you truly learn what you’re capable of. And when you realise you are a strong and independent human being, you can do anything.
All this to say whatever your situation, if you’re not happy in your current job, relationship or where you’re living, do something about it. It’s never too late. We are living in a world where there is so much opportunity - as Picasso said: “everything you can imagine is real”. The only difficulty is in choosing which path to go down. Trust yourself, surround yourself with people who pull you up, bring positivity into your life and edit out the ones that don’t. This may sound harsh, but life is short. If someone doesn’t bring you joy, they’ve got to go. You only get one go at this, so why not make it the best you can? And props to you if you’re already doing this!
Finally, I like to set goals rather than make resolutions. So while this year has been mainly spent laying the foundations for a happier and healthier life, I want to bring to fruition the things I’ve been thinking about. I want to see through personal projects, such as finally writing a book I’ve had in my head for the past 3 years, I’d like to grow my business, to collaborate with like-minded people and take what I do to the next step.
And so thank you again for another year and for following along. I’m wishing you an incredibly happy and healthy new year - I hope you follow your dreams and leave behind any baggage that has been weighing you down! Here’s to an incredible 2019!
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